Curl Confidence

My curl journey has not always been a walk in the park. If anything, it has been a treacherous hike through the wilderness of damaged curl patterns, brutal flat iron sessions, and gripping insecurities. Despite my prolonged journey to embracing my natural curls, I would have to say it has been and will always be worth it! 

Growing up, I highly disliked my curl pattern. I believe my aversion towards my unruly roots was a learned behavior from my mother. My mom is mixed (Indian and Cherokee), so her hair varies vastly from certain family members. Unlike her aunts on her mom’s side, who had pin-straight Indian hair, my mom was crowned with spirally curls from her dad’s Cherokee side. To suppress the feelings of being an outcast, my mom had her hair relaxed all throughout her childhood and teenage years. In return, she never learned to properly care for and manage her hair, which eventually affected how my curls were treated. As a little girl, I would pester my mom to straighten my hair so it could ‘swing’ like the girls’ hair at school. They always appeared to draw the most attention and be considered the prettiest of the class, so I figured by copying them, I would be deemed to be just as ‘beautiful’ or ‘worthy.’ These elementary insecurities may have begun faintly in the background, but they soon took center stage, ultimately creating a domino effect of low-self esteem all-around. 

But thankfully, that is not how my story ends!

Around middle school is when my mom and I realized it was time to take ownership over our hair. After reading an abundance of website articles and visiting curl consultants, we had officially started to take steps in the right direction and found our stride. Of course, some days were better than others, but the thrill of trial and error with each product felt liberating. I was beginning to appreciate who I was created to be! I will never forget rocking my natural curls for the first time at school. My self-conscious intuition was telling me that I was “doing too much,” but the truth overrode every single lie. I had never received that many compliments in a single day before. Yes, it was slightly irritating to have people touch my hair when I had done everything in my power to ensure each curl was perfectly placed, but the joy of newfound confidence blinded me from the annoyance. 

Since then, I have learned so many tips and tricks when it comes to caring for my curls. Most importantly, I have grasped the fact that while the seed of beauty sprouts and grows “within,” it primarily is rooted in a walk “with Him.” Psalm 139 speaks of the intimate connection with God that is available to us. The chapter wonderfully depicts God’s desire to shower us in love and how we can praise Him for it.  While many focus on verse 14, which labels us as “fearfully and wonderfully made,”I believe the most endearing verses are found in verses 17-18: “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.” By understanding that God’s assiduity spans as far as strategically placing each curl to twist and turn, it indefinitely demonstrates His mindfulness over me.

As daughters, (and sons, I see y’all too!) of God, we are uniquely designed to showcase the diversity that is found in His kingdom. Yes, it may be awkward to leave the house with transitioning curls. Of course, it might be humiliating when your shrinkage won’t allow you to show off that length of yours, but understand that God is peering from above, pleased with the steps you are taking to adore who you have been created to be. In return, you should be proud of yourself as well. 

In conclusion, I would like to give the three E’s that every natural should know. 

1. EXPERIMENT. Learn to experiment with different styles, products, and routines. Trust me, you never know what will work for you until you try it! Also, do not be discouraged if it takes a while to discover your “holy grail.” You will find it eventually.

2. EMBRACE. Grow to embrace the pattern and porosity that you have been awarded. You may never have spirally curls or tight tresses, but please, resist curl envy! To help embrace what you have, connect with other people with similar curl types to assist you on this journey.

3. ENCOURAGE. Lastly, we need to encourage and uplift one another. Never feel you are unworthy of showing off your curls, but also do not get so “high and mighty” that you forget where you came from! If you feel stuck, reach out. If you see a fellow natural struggling, ask what would make them feel more confident. This is not a competition; this is a community. 

God bless y’all! Hope you guys enjoyed this article:) Much love to everyone <3

-Analiese Delgado

@miss.delgado